Thursday, January 31, 2013

two things

is it still socially acceptable to identify yourself as a 20 something when you're actually much closer to 30 than 20?
i know i am not the only person i know out there who struggles on the daily about what i'm doing with my life. while many of my friends are getting promoted at their jobs, establishing their careers, getting engaged, buying houses,planning weddings, talking about dinnerware, mortages, potty trainings, grown up things.....i'm just over here thinking about my next move.
is that such a bad thing? i'd like to think that it's not so much that im behind in life. or hopelessly dreaming. i think my future is still being made, processed and designed, and sooner or later the pieces will all fall into place and i will wake up one morning and find that i am exactly where i'm supposed to be. in the meantime, i'd rather see my path as a never ending possibility. i may be single, but i'm not alone. i may not know what job i'll be doing in 30 years, but i do know i can find a whole bunch that i enjoy along the way. i'm not planning my wedding, but hell i don't even know how to go on a date so why jump the gun?
don't get me wrong. for those of you who are established and are actually real grownups as so many of my friends are, i might envy you, but mostly i am happy for you. i know i'll get there too someday.
but why are we all in such a rush? i feel like everyone i know is so stressed out from one thing or the other, and no one is ever really enjoying any part of their day. seriously, look at your facebook timeline. take count of how many of your friends are currently posting a status about how tired they are, how pissed off they are, how they need a vacation/newjob/new body/new everything.
how many of them are posting just to say hi to the world? how many are posting about the stranger who complimented them, or how theyre wearing their favorite shirt today, or how they spent five minutes sitting in the sunshine? how many of the posts out of your hundreds of friends are happy, content, inspiring, humble? i'm thinking it's a small number.
i'm guilty of this too. just an hour ago i posted a status about my neighbors and our garbage flying around in the street because of how windy it is. (it really is though, i hear things flying around out there and hitting the house!)
i wish we'd all just take time in our daily lives to appreciate the little things more. to take a moment to ourselves and just look around and realize all we have, instead of taking it all for granted, and waking up one day five years from now with no recollection of the wonderful experiences that have gone by. or maybe not wake up at all. you never know what tomorrow will bring, we all only have today and even that's not guaranteed.
anyway, this post got a little off course and i apologize because it's 3 am and i woke up from going to bed early and now here i am wide awake again, but that's alright. i shall leave you with these two things i just stumbled upon for all you fellow 20 somethings out there:
a quote:
Your twenties are your ‘selfish’ years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground
and a link that i agree with 90% of:
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams,

Sunday, January 27, 2013

you might say i'm a dreamer.

looking for a job is a weird thing.

i basically want to say "hi, hire me please because i'm awesome and think this job would be pretty great and might turn out to be the job that causes me to sit back and say 'i love going to work every day!' and if that's the case, i'll put 110% of myself into it, because i appreciate this opportunity.

my skills include: facebook creeping, writing about random things, baking cupcakes and rice krispy treats, being crafty and pinterest inspired, singing along to the radio like i'm on american idol, making up recipes with whatevers in the cupboards, napping long into the day, making the most of a spot of sunshine, laughing at mostly everything, and sending cards just because.

Why would I be a good fit for this job? Well, i don't know. how do you ever really know how someone will be? really, who cares about what they majored in in college, or what degree they have. if you love the job you have, you'll excel at it, because it makes you happy. I have a teaching degree, but i love cooking so how do you know i couldn't be a successful chef just because i don't have a degree in it? blogging has become the outlet for my long ago lost writings i used to scribble maybe i'm destined to be a writer? ( one that doesn't use capital letters, and lots of {...} ) or if i actually had all the time in the world to be as crafty as i wanted, maybe i could be one of those girls who starts up her own business selling the things lovingly made by hand.....or something like that.

my point is, finding the job you love shouldn't be so hard and for lots of people i suppose it's not. they've always known since apparently forever, what they wanted to be when they grew up. for me, it's not like that. i want to be a million things, and love every single thing i do. life is short, and i don't want to be someone who dreads going to work in the morning, and who counts the seconds until it's time to leave for the day. i want to be happy, use my creativity on an hourly basis, be someone who makes a difference in the life of someone else. i want to know that at the end of the day i have done something to leave a mark on this world. however small, however slight. one of these days i'll find that something that allows me to be those things, and be happy doing it. to some i suppose i seem flaky, always thinking of something else i want to do and be. maybe it's because i've been encouraged to think i could do anything i ever wanted, maybe it's because of all the books i've read, the ideas i have, the life i've imagined for myself. maybe it's because i am afterall, a dreamer.
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams,

Saturday, January 19, 2013

who says you can't go home?

Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home?

I've been keeping a not so secret secret: I'm moving back home.
I'm not sure when--maybe next month, maybe in six months, but I know I'm going.
My life here in Rhode island has been interesting, but my moving here was a mistake from probably the first week. I've had good times, and not so good times, and met a lot of people I wouldnt have, if I had never come back here, but now this chapter in my life is coming to a close. (Again)
It's funny, because I so desperately wanted to move away last year, and now I would move back tomorrow if I could. I guess I had to go away to really appreciate what I was leaving behind.
I'll miss things and people here from my Rhode island life, but if they're really meant to stay in my life they will.

my parents are thrilled, my brother is undecided. i think i might be winning him over though.

So, who wants to help me find a job back in new york? :) 

Friday, January 11, 2013

highs & lows day
high: my shiny red gel manicure
low: everything else
...the end.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Now & then

My intense desire to move home again is rivaled only by last years urge to move away.
The irony of my decisions never ceases to surprise me.
It turns out, you really always really can go home again.

Sunday, January 6, 2013


The father of a friend of mine,
 who I've known for what seems like my whole life,
passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.
She is actually the fourth friend of mine in four months that has lost her father.
I am shocked. and deeply, deeply saddened for their losses, for their families, for the future that will now go on, without their fathers.
It is a future that seems unfathomable to me. And tomorrow when I go home, I will squeeze my parents extra tight. Because I cannot imagine my life without them, being just a phone call away, or in the next room. to ask random questions, tell them something silly, share big news, or ask for help. My parents support me mentally, physically and more often than not, financially.
My heart breaks for my friends who are hurting. and really, it breaks for us all, who will one day have to know the loss of the people who brought us into the world, who held us at night, and witnessed our first steps.
These things are not supposed to happen. I know that it's the way the life cycle works, but they shouldn't happen. whether we are in our teens, our twenties or our sixties, our parents are our parents. and we are all just kids, figuring out our lives, sometimes taking for granted that our parents have always been there, and shouldn't have to know what life is like without them.
things happen, we don't know why and we can't rationalize it. death happens, and you never know when. so tomorrow, when i go home, i will hug my parents extra tight. and i will tell them again how much i love them. as i have every day since i was old enough to mean it. because you just never know.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


Hello friends!
are we all still here in one piece? i hope so :)
i've taken a bit of a blogging break as you might have noticed (i'm talking to you katie lamia, my #1 fan!) but it wasn't intentional. sometimes, life gets in the way and before you know it a week, or two (or three!) have just flown by.
...sounds like a bunch of excuses to me, but ok, forgive me anyway?
happiest of new years to one and all!

personally, i happen to think we should all reflect on our lives every day, not just when one or another holiday rolls around, but that's just me. sooo in that case:
happy today & happy tomorrow to you!
i suppose it's time for the obligatory "resolutions" list of 2013, so here it goes!
i resolve to....
... clear out my junkmail. unsubscribe from the mass amounts of junk clogging up my inbox. unsubscribe from negative people clogging up my newsfeed, and my life. not feel guilty about it.
... work out in some way, every day. take the stairs. park farther away. do situps during commercials or something. actually use the gym membership i get for free. you get my point.
... compliment myself every day. i might be harder on myself then anyone else could be. and if i don't love and respect myself why should i expect anyone else to?

.... put $10 into my savings account every paycheck. yeah, $10 is small realistically, but considering i don't save anything in the first place, it's a start.

... hop back on my weight watchers plan. when i first started, i lost ten pounds without even realizing it....then the holidays came and i put it right back on. i'm going to the grocery store in the morning.

... take chances. apply for the job i want, make friends, actually attempt to date, leave my apartment. i feel like time is flying by and i keep looking back and wondering where the last few years of my life have gone.

... be happy. read a book. drink more water. phone a friend. enjoy the sunshine.

...that's it for now i suppose. and now that i think of it, it's all really about improving the quality of my life every single day, not just once a year, so i should just add on something new everyday,
 so here i go...

what are your resolutions?