Friday, July 20, 2012

friday letters


dear morgan (my hairdresser for the day since my regular one was booked) : first, while i was in the shampoo chair you washed out my color and said " oh that's not good" and then told me i ended up with a bizarre color in my hair "but not in a bad way". you didn't wash the dye out of my hair all the way and told me it was my hairline, when i asked you for a towel to scrub it off myself. then you said you couldnt blowout my hair because it was too coarse and kinky. and then you asked me if i could just straighten my own bangs at home. and let's not even talk about how inappropriae you were talking about your coworkers and the other clients around us. i've been getting my hair done at salons for over 15 years and i'm pretty sure this was my worst experience ever. ever. ever. good thing i've got a correction appt that your manager scheduled for me after she saw how you were sending me home.
unless im THE COUNT, im pretty sure that's not my hairline.
dear olive garden: i always think youre a good idea. until my stomache starts to hurt. and then i remember why i said i would never return to you again. until the next time. dear fridge: youre full of random odds and ends, none of which equal anything i can eat. i should probably go to the market for some fruits and veggies. dear new family im nannying for: please turn out to be a good idea. i'm already dreading the hours combined with my restuarant shifts. dear grad school: i would really like to start in september. please let me know if i can. dear hair: sorrysorrysorry. dear jobs of mine: youre really getting in the way of the trips i want to take. texas, italy, greece, virginiabeach, bali, the whole wide world? dear four weddings: ive watched entirely too many episodes of you today. must change the channel. dear ulta: your makeup for $1 was a serious issue for me. did i need six eyeshadows in different shades of grey? probablynot. dear lipstick:i think i'm going to start wearing you to work. waiting tables is no excuse to not spruce up right? right. dear ashley: thanks for hosting this week after week. i love reading everyone's letters. it's good to know im not the only one who writes letters to inanimate objects.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

" if you want to kiss me, the answer is yes, and you get this tshirt"

guys. let me start by saying: to each his own. personal choices and all that stuff.

BUT , that being said, if you haven't ever watched the virgin diaries on tlc, please please do.

holy crap. it's like tlc found the craziest virgins ever and put them on a show. and better yet they
 found enough people to have different episodes for a whole season.
it's like virgin status in hyperdrive. and it's nuts.

for example tonights episode featured skippy the 34 yr old virgin who lives in his moms basement.
he takes his mom to the clubs with him, along with a backpack with a hair dryer in it so he can dry himself off periodically when he gets too sweaty. he also collects his own belly button lint (for the last 15 years) and uses tshirts to bribe girls into kissing him. he makes said tshirts as one of his other hobbies. my favorite one of his is "34, mormon, virgin: proof dinosaurs exist."

please watch it so you can understand the full effect and don't think im just a judgemental b.

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012



... believe that this is not where i am meant to be

... know that people can be hurtful without really being aware that they're doing it

...feel that i am easily forgotten by everyone i know except my parents

...think that i should have gotten checked out at the hospital after my accident even though i didn't have insurance, because it turns out i have an injury that didn't heal properly

...want to have people i can count on

... am concerned for the future of the world: smoking blunts and speaking in slang is really up there on your list of priorities? there's a difference between enjoying your youth and making yourself look unintelligent. The word is "though" not doe. Calling everyone you see a bitch and a hoe? classy. Having reckless sex and then being worried you caught something? super.

...know that people grow apart, for many reasons, and sometimes you can't explain it

... think that you can suffer on your own for a long time and people don't even see it

... feel that sometimes I'm in a room full of people i know and still feel completely alone

... want to take back the last few years of my life and do things differently

... confess that having no one waiting for me to come home hurt much more than i wanted to admit to myself

... wish i felt complete
... hope that i figure out what i'm doing with my life

... hate that i feel like this

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Friday, July 6, 2012

friday, friday

dear dphie convention in miami: this time next week i'll be partaking in four days chock full of sorority loving. dear everyone at work: thanks for thinking i'm 20, and having no idea that i am in fact 27. dear tuesday: get here soon, you're the start to my mini vacation and i'm so very excited. dear dramamine: i hope you do the trick and help me stay calm on my flight to florida, which is not going to be 2hrs long. dear hair: grow. dear charlize theron: you were a whole lot of crazy in snow white. dear pink lipstick: i shall be rocking you when i go see magic mike or the katy perry movie tomorrow night. i feel either occasion is appropriate. dear awesome earrings at forever 21: be mine. dear closet: can you sort yourself out? on that note, dear suitcase: could you pack yourself as well? dear feet: could you try to not ache anymore whenever we try to wear cute shoes? like these or these that would be great. dear table that tipped me more than 20% tonight: i don't know if you did it on accident or on purpose, BUT i appreciated it anyway. dear unnamed grad school: please accept me into your program. i really, really, really would love to be back in school. seriously. dear acne: what is going on?! are we fifteen again?! get off my face. dear fall: ( a last minute addition after reading ashley's letters and immediately looking at my favorite tall boot website to see if they were up yet) i'm strangely really excited for your return. tall boots, knee high socks, chunky wrap sweaters, scaves, hats, pumpkins, apple cider, leaves turning, not to mention the much better, less humid hair days...should i go on?

happy weekend lovebugs!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams



Sunday, July 1, 2012

she's too young for you bro.

today, someone told a guy who was talking to me that i was "too young for you bro"

the guy said "there is no age for love!"

( the part about the guy talking to me, or his response is actually irrelevant to this story)

a little while later i asked the other guy .... "how old do you think i am?"

he looked at me and said: "twenty"

and this is yet another story about how i will get carded until forever.

the end.