Thursday, December 13, 2012

random acts

so i've decided to do something nice for someone every day for the rest of the year
...hopefully, this will stick and i'll keep doing it for...ever.
today, i took all the garbages out for everyone in my building. usually the guy who lives upstairs does it when he leaves for work at 3am. i hope he's pleasantly surprised when he leaves today and sees the trash on the curb!
yesterday i stopped what i was doing and asked someone if they wanted a ride because i realized we were going to the same place and i was passing right by their street.
on sunday i brought munchkins to a meeting i was going to.
on monday i didn't yell at someone when they were mocking my theory of needing just one person to be able to make a difference in a childs life....... yeah, that counts. i really wanted to tell him he was a bitter, jaded, mean guy, and should just stf up. soooo that counts.
why am i telling you these things? not because i want credit for doing them, that would negate the whole point of doing them. I'm telling you so maybe you'll see that a random act of kindness doesn't need to be some big giant spectacle, but really something small and simple.
tis the season loves! (but really, it wouldn't kill us to be a little kinder, every single day.)
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Saturday, December 8, 2012

a date with destiny

 I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.
-Coco Chanel

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

coworker the gym?

a mini blurb:
i have slept for and hour & a half.
two things are happening today:
i am up before the sun & i am going to spin class.
im pretty sure if i look outside at this very moment, pigs are flying past my window.
my officemate emailed me last night to let me know he signed me up for the 9 am spin class with him so i better show up. oh ok. i prefer to do my coworker bonding over a beer (okay really, does magners count as beer?) , but that's just me.
i have taken spin before, and fear that i am in trouble. or atleast my ladyparts are.
is it bad to go into work to use the gym........and then call out for the day?
the end.
happy wednesday people.
p.s i think i decided on a new blog name. i might spend the day writing it everywhere to see how i feel about it first before making it official ;)

p.p.s : have you liked my fb page yet? let's be facebook official!
because, you know it's not official until it's on facebook.

you know what finals actually stand for?

you know what sucks?
........homework. finals. finals as homework.
give me a multiple choice test any day, but a take home essay for a final, no thank you.
make it four questions long? evennnn better. leave it to me to do at the last minute? awesome.
im the worst grad student there ever was, ever.  

Monday, December 3, 2012

50 shades of awkward

let me preface the following with:
to each their own. some people are into some things. i'm...not.
yes, this is real. yes, it's a message i received this morning.
yes, i've been telling people about it all day.

50 shades of awkward.
online dating at its finest.
....and as much as i should feel bad about posting this...i'm thinking he'd like it.
still, i give him major credit for actually messaging me with this.
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

facebook famous

I made a facebook page for my blog!!
here, like it so i don't feel like a loser :)
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Confessions with Mrs. Bear

So i'm linking up with mrs. bear for a few confessions for the week ...cause for real, we all have them, might as well tell someone about them!

Think Happy Thoughts
i confess... i told her last week i was going to link up and then next thing i was today. a week later. whooops. (better late than never mrs. bear?!)
i confess... whenever i am about to walk out of my apartment and hear someone else heading down the stairs or their door opening, i stop and wait until i hear them leave. it's weird i know but i've had enough akward small talk with everyone in here and at this point i'm okay with them thinking i'm stuck up, and perhaps a shut in, since everytime i see the guy upstairs he tells me he hasnt seen me in months (i've lived here for 8 months...)
i confess: I AM SO EXCITED TO SEND OUT MY HOLIDAY CARDS!  what do i care if i dont have a pet, boyfriend, husband or baby to take pictures with? i have me and that is just good enough. and im crafty enough to make props...which i did.
i confess... my faucet has been dripping since probably...the second day i lived here and i just keep not telling my landlord about it. even though it drives me crazyyyy.
i confess: i just had some peppermint swirl ice cream and enjoyed every last bit of it. yum
i confess: i'd like to rename my blog, again. but it feels like every awesome name is already taken! time to brainstorm over here people.
i confess: lately, it's taken me every last ounce of everything in me to not bitch some people out like they really deserve. like who are you and where did you come from? don't talk to me.
i confess... lately, i'd rather not hear one more thing about weddings. about people i know, about strangers, about anyones. unless we're talking about mine. my non existent one that is. i could talk about that one allll day, and show you my board on pinterest.
oh, speaking of which
i confess: 122 people apparently read my last post, and not one single person commented on it. really? really?! maybe it's a case of...if you don't have anything nice to say.
ok, that's not entirely true, some people commented on fb, but that's not the same thing.
i confess: my day started off on the wrong foot because my alarm didn't go off (...or i slept through it) and then i wasted an hour on facebook stalking people who have my dream job(s). yep that's plural since i actually don't know what i'm doing with my life.
i confess: this post makes me look like a serious negative nancy, so i should really cut the crap.
i confess:  i'm not even sure i like cats.... but i might be getting a kitten :)
and with that, i'm going to sleep ten hours past my bedtime
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Sunday, November 25, 2012

something borrowed & something new: a letter

I was in third grade the day my oldest niece was born. It was the week after my birthday, and I remember standing at my locker and thinking that morning, when my teacher was doing morning circle, I would have the most exciting news to share, and I would definitely end up being the Star of the Week, because my news was so completely awesome.

Anyway, cut to the here and now. My niece is getting married today. Actually, she got married a few weeks ago, and today had a ceremony and a reception for friends and family.

and I was not there.

and it is literally so upsetting to me that I cried about it a few days ago while thinking about what I'd say if I was.

I know some of you are reading this and doing the math, and wondering to yourselves how it is possible that I have a niece who is now married. or maybe you're reading this and not really caring about the details. or maybe no one is reading this at all. that's fine either way, but I guess in this moment, her age, and mine for that matter,  really aren't necessary to talk about.

I think right now what I want to talk (write?) about is what I would say to my niece if I could be there, on this her special day.

My dearest, first little lovebug,
I know you may not be getting the best reaction from everyone when youve shared your news, and I have to admit, because I've never really sugarcoated things with you, that I did not immediately react so well to it at first either. I was worried, I was surprised, and I guess a part of me still is. and the only reason is because I love you, and I've always only wanted what I thought was best for you, which is silly, really, considering I'm your Aunt, and can barely figure out what's best for myself, let alone think I know what's best for other people...but you know what I mean. I always had this idea of all the things you'd do when you got older, and the things that we could do together, once you were all grown up. I think I saw us having the kind of relationship your mom and I started to have when we reached an age that the age gap between us didn't matter anymore.

and now, after i've gotten used to the idea of you making such an adult decision, I've realized a few things: 1. You are an adult! you're not the little girl andrew used to swing in the air anymore. You are smart and kind, and a wonderful young woman who is fully capable of making her own choices, and in this grand adventure youre about to embark on, well, you have the right things in your heart to carry you wherever you will go. It's not up to me or anyone else to tell you what to do anymore. Like my dad always tells me, my parents taught me as much as they could about values, ideals, how to know right from wrong, and all that other stuff about how to be a good person, and now it's up to me to do what I will with those lessons. It's that same thing for you. You are your own person, not a little girl anymore. You have hopes and dreams, opinions and ideas. and I believe that you will continue to grow into an even more wonderful woman than the one you are right now. and 2. just because you've decided to make this huge, life changing decision, doesn't mean all the things I hoped for you are not possible. If anything, they are ever more possible. because now, you've got this amazing partner to support you in every choice you make here on out. You have never been alone, but now you have someone who is along for this journey with you, as your equal, your other half, to help carry your burdens when they bring you down, and also share in your joys when they fill you up so much you feel like you might burst with happiness.

I remember meeting Dakota the night he asked you to be his girlfriend and thinking to myself...jeez this kid keeps calling me ma'am a lot. I remember you telling us all about him, and then when I asked him to sit down and stay awhile at your dinner table, he was so polite and answered every question I asked him..with respect, and honesty. He didn't pull his phone out to text people, and he didn't give me one word answers. After he left, I thought to myself...what a decent guy he was, how polite and hardworking, and how he was respectful to all of us from your mom to your brother, and most importantly, he looked at you like he would sit at that table for hours answering my silly questions, just to spend more time sitting with you.

And that's the most important thing. at the end of the day, you have found something that most people search their entire lives for. I don't think I'm much of a relationship expert, considering my track record isn't stellar... you've seen it yourself-- but I do know what it's like to be in love, to love so deeply it's like you've given a piece of yourself to someone to hold on to because your heart is so full. I believe you and Dakota have found that in each other, and together. You may be young, but that doesn't mean your love isn't any less real than it would be if you were my age. or ten years older than me. I believe that what you have will just grow, and the two of you will grow together, and stronger for it. I so wish I could have been there to witness this day, to stand with the rest of your friends and family and share in your joy. We all wanted to be there, I hope you know that, and understand why we couldn't be. Papi said it himself, as a parent (and a grandparent) you want to be there for all the important things, and even the not so important ones. But especially for the first things, because nothings as special as experiencing your loved ones special moments. And missing his first grandchilds wedding? that was something he never thought he'd have to miss. Please know that our hearts were there, even if we couldn't be.

I am wishing you so many things, more than I could possibly list-- a lifetime of happiness, a home filled with laughter, memories that will carry you through any distance that separates you, hearts that are open to the differences that may arise, kind words that lift you up in the darkest of times, and days that begin and end with you both feeling as in love with each other as you do at this very moment.

Congratulations lovebugs, and welcome to our family Dakota. love you so much! xo

...and somehow that turned into a very long open letter to two people who just taught me a thing or two about what love is supposed to be like. funny how that happens sometimes. join me in sending many happy wishes to the newlyweds :)

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

random random

hello dear friends!

let's recap shall we?

i went to the happiest place on earth aka ikea and bought things i didn't need but ended up building this:
im a rebel, i broke the rules:
and the night before that i decided i wanted to paint stripes on my wall:
i also cut my hair:
and managed to do two unimagineable things: 1. not cry about it and 2. take a picture of myself in my bathroom mirror
oh and yesterday this happened:
my parents celebrated 29 years of wedded loveliness. aren't they the cutest little muffins?
and some more random things:

the penguin on the pier one commerical is one of those weird twins from rugrats. which is a show i didn't ever watch i just happen to recognize the voice. random i know.

r kelley (kelly, no e? i don't even care) is releasing his 23rd chapter of trapped in a closet....why?

dating in your 20's is hard after college and you don't work somewhere full of single people. i feel like everyone got paired up and now the rest of us are scrambling to find a partner. and trust me there are some pretty slim pickings.

oh no you say? trust. if we were friends on snapchat you'd be agreeing with me since you'd see the guys im getting matched with. ironically, the guys i do message because they interest me-- they don't reply back. you know who does? the guys i immediately rule out from reading one line in their profiles.

..sigh. i know that actually sounds really harsh of me.

lindsay lohan? i can't even.

twilight? i must seee it.

paul mcdonald and nikki reed's music together? love.

and......last but not least, i would like to go to aruba. that's all. not too much to ask for no?

happy almost turkey day loves!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Thursday, November 15, 2012

i spend all day thinking of dumb things to post on facebook

so I have yet again joined the world of online dating. except this time I'm planning on actually following through with it. I even just sent out two messages, mostly because the second guy had the best profile I've ever read, ever.

exhibit a:

"I graduated with a Bachelor's in Criminal Justice. I'm essentially paid to be a human flagpole, but it pays really well. I guard banks which is funny because my mom always told me I'd end up standing in a bank with a gun; I think she meant something else. I spend all day thinking of dumb things to post on facebook and my blog."

trust me on this one: this guy would be a good time. not even kidding, im hoping he'll reply back to me.

wish me luck!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


oh p.s. looks like I lost another two followers. that's like five in the last two weeks. was it something I said? ....good thing I don't actually blog for the numbers. thanks to you guys for sticking around, xo

Monday, November 12, 2012

let there be light!

a quick recap:

after 14 days without power, my family and some of my friends got power back at home. AND i happened to be there.


i think not.

why was i home again you ask?

1. because i have a better social life three states and three hours away than i do here (lame, i know)

and 2. because it was this guys birthday!
and i take birthdays very seriously.
happiest birthday again to my first best friend, my binkaroo!
happy monday friends!
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

hurricane update

My family and friends back home have been hit hard with the damage done by hurricane sandy. I am three hours away, and was supposed to get hit with the worst of it and am totally fine.

While I was here baking cupcakes and making jokes about being stocked up on wine, my brother was saving my dog from drowning from the sudden ocean of water that went into our house and filled our downstairs practically to the ceiling.

I was home this weekend and my parents made me leave so I wouldn't get caught in the oncoming storm, and now I wish I had stayed instead and was with them so atleast I would see they were safe with my own eyes. I wish that I didn't leave because I was so worried about needing to go to work because I was new and couldn't just tell them I wasn't coming in.

My friends and family are okay, but waterlogged. My town and those around it are semi in shambles and those of us who are away from them are experiencing heavy hearts and the urge to drive back immediately, over down trees and through rivers of water just to get home again.

Please keep my friends & family in your thoughts and prayers, and if you have found yourselves in the same situation, I hope you are fairing well.

Monday, October 29, 2012

ohhhhhhh sandy.

hello hurricane day!
thanks to the hurricane that may or may not happen here in little rhodey, i have a whole day off with nothing to do.
which would explain why i am still awake at 5:30 in the morning...mostly because i'm freaking out, and mostly because i can. far i've managed to move my whole bedroom around and catch up on many a blog post that i have been so badly neglecting, besides actually writing my own, which ive also been neglecting.
and you know what's happened from reading so many blogs?! i am now lusting after a desk i must have immediately. and some new glasses. and a recipe i want to try...or atleast 6. and a detail wall i want to attempt and the fact that i might want to be best friends with the college prepster

this basically sums up what i want to do today, what im shopping for today and what's keeping me occupied while my lights are flickering and it sounds like my apartment is going to fly away. (because right now it's 5pm and the storms coming!)
on the plus side, I did just make some delicious buffalo chicken and am contemplating making cupcakes from scratch if my power holds up.
Stay safe lovelies!!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

we're birds of a feather

Wherever you go, just always remember
That you've got a home for now and forever
And if you get low, just call me whenever
This is my oath to you
Wherever you go, just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather

About a year ago I wrote this post, and after these last few months I wanted to go back to it, and think about how I feel now..

I don't know how many of you have ever been a part of something: a team, a club, an organization, something that you contributed to, and became bigger than yourself, but I can tell you, from first hand experience, that to find yourself surrounded by people that help you feel like you've found your place in a big world is a unique and wonderful experience.

In sorority life, we like to say it's not for four years, it's for life. While for some it may not feel that way, for me it does.

I believe that once upon a time eight years ago, when I met the women who would later become my Sisters, not by blood but by choice, my life was changed for the better. I was there for the good times, and I was most definitely there for some of the bad times as well, but through it all I have memories with those women that have stayed close to my heart. Since graduation many of us have gone our separate ways, but to me that doesn't mean anything. If anything, it just means that it makes any time spent with them that much more meaningful to me.

I've heard mixed feelings from women I have known about their own Sorority experiences...some who didn't make connections and form bonds with others, those who feel that the only reason they ever spent time with each other was because they were forced to, those who feel like they didn't get anything out of the experience..and to those women, I am sorry you feel that way.

I believe that being a part of my sorority gave me the chance to grow, to find out what kind of woman I wanted to be, to introduce me to people who would forever be a part of my life whether just at the moment or now so many years later.

These last few months I've been given the chance to work with my organization as an advisor and through that I got to be a part of the rebirth of my former chapter. I have gotten the chance to play a main role to a new generation of women who now share my letters, who I call my Sisters, and who
I care just as much about now, as I did about my own Sisters when I was an undergraduate. I see myself, and my Sisters reflected in this new generation. I find myself sitting in on their meetings, or looking at their pictures and realizing that I have the same pictures from not too long ago, with the women in them now off all over the world having adventures- falling in love, welcoming new lives, embarking on their dream careers, doing things that a few years ago seemed like things that would happen eventually...but years away. I have "met" women I have never known -- via facebook, who have reached out to me, and now they too have become a part of my life. I know that I can travel the world, and if I needed something, I could reach out to this network of women and find an answer to any question I might have, or problem I may find myself facing.

To me, that is what I was looking for all those years ago, and I didn't even know it. A connection, a lifeline, a bond. In the last eight years I have fallen in love, had my heart broken, changed jobs, and graduated college twice. I have gone through awkward phases, laughed at more things than I could ever remember and taken millions of pictures of possibly every relationship, weird haircut, night out dancing, denim mini skirt trend, heels in the middle of a snow storm, group shots with us all squished together and tons of other things you'd probably rather not have photographic proof of --- everything that probably took place over an eight year time span. I have moved, and moved again. I have celebrated birthdays, engagements and weddings. I have memories of nights spent at karaoke, basement fraternity parties, huge group dinners, nights out dancing without a care in the world and hours spent in small apartments filled with girls getting ready for one thing or another. I have driven hours to spend one night with these people, and have had others do the same. I have had people who were by my side when I was sick, who painted my apartment for me, who got on the phone to tell a guy what an asshole he was, who have helped me through any crisis that came my way-- whether it be a bad hair cut, that pesky issue of not being old enough to get into a bar, a class I just couldn't understand, plans for a friday night, a bad breakup, a crush, a ride in the middle of the night, a place to stay at a moments notice no questions asked, things that were silly and things that were really important--anything you go through in college, and then anything that you encounter when you find yourself suddenly in the real world outside of your safe college bubble and going through your twenties, quickly approaching your thirties. I am happy for all their successes, and feel for any trouble that comes their way.

I know that all of those women who I have gotten to spend years of my life making memories with will forever be a part of my life. They have been there through my ups and downs, and will continue to be there wherever my future takes me. and without being a part of my sorority, I may have never had that. I may have never even met them. and I can't imagine what my life would have been like without them.

 I have fought with these women, and loved them just the same. I wonder to myself, if those women from my past, or these women in my present realize just how important they are to me. We may not speak every day, or even within years, some I will never speak to again. Some have become my best friends and others are just acquaintances. but still, at one point we shared a bond that has always meant something to me. I may not even cross their minds at this point, but nevertheless- the fact that I have known them at all, matters to me.

I guess that's really the point I wanted to get across. You have all mattered to me. Knowing you has made an impact on my life, and I hope that I have made a mark somewhere in yours. and for all those memories -- the old ones, the new ones, and the ones in the making, I am forever thankful to you all.
Sisters always.

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams,

Saturday, October 13, 2012

fridays...err saturdays letters.

Hello lovelies!
Happy weekend!
Well,  I'm a day late and a dollar short but here are my Friday's letters anyway!

dear midterms: i forgot you existed! why can't i just go to school and enjoy the learning experience. and then why is it an option to have midterms be both take home and in class. that's juts prolonging my stress level like woah. dear group projects: have you ever heard someone say "i love doing group projects!! they're the best!" no. you have not. and you know why? because group projects suck. unless youre working with your friends or something. but when you're working with people you don't know it's no beuno. and a group project in grad school is even worse. forget the regular issues of group projects in college then add in the grad school factors...people usually have full time 9-5 jobs and families. it's not so easy to be up til all hours putting a presentation together. why must you be a requirement in these classes?! dear weight watchers: i finally bit the bullet. i have signed up, and im hoping this is just what i needed to start holding myself accountable. it's only been a week and i'm already feeling good about it. let's do this! dear guy upstairs: you used to live in this very apartment i call my own right now. so WHY do you make so much noise now that you moved directly above this apartment. you should know how loud it is down here! headachecentral. i do love my little place though so here i shall stay. dear animal shelters & adoption agencies: i would like to provide an animal in need with a forever home. approve me. i will provide countless amounts of love, despite my lack of a legit yard. everyone else in my building has a dog and they manage just fine. dear my very abused hair:thanks for not falling out. no seriously. i know we've had our ups and downs, but here's my pledge to stop bleaching it and embrace my roots. literally. dear sydney over at the daybook: those bangs are the greatest thing ever!! I can't even count how many times i decide i want bangs and then despise them within a week of chopping my hair. i shall purchase these per your suggestion, as soon as i have some spare money to use on something i don't really need. dear halloween: i LOVE halloween. I don't subscribe to the mean girls theory that it's the one time out of the year a girl can dress slutty and no one can judge you for it. I actually HATE when girls do that. i'm sorry but wearing underwear and sticking ears on your head does not a mouse make. ANYWAY...this year I was going to be a toddlers and tiara contestant but now with this whole honey boo boo craze, i've scrapped the idea. same with being katniss. SO now im debating between being an indian princess OR max from where the wild things are. i'm sort of leaning towards max, mostly because i would love to rock some footie pajamas in public. thoughts? dear life: thanks for giving me chance after chance. i appreciate everything about you.

well, that's all for now lovebugs! hope you're all having a wonderful weekend and being productive.
....unlike myself who has two papers, one essay, two half take home midterms to study for and complete andddd a cold...but clearly i'm blogging instead of doing any of that.

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

the key to happiness

This past weekend I got to spend time with some of my greatest friends. Friends that I've only known since college, but feel like I've known my whole life. Sometimes, I feel like they're strangers I barely know.

Every time I have a mini reunion with anyone Ive ever felt bonded with, I leave feeling..torn. slightly confused. happy and sad at the same time. jealous. anxious.

and then I decided I came to this conclusion:

I think the real key to being happy isn't by envying the success of your loved ones, whether it be in their relationships, careers or even their own personal growth - but in realizing that for now being happy for them is enough, even while you work to figure out where you're going in your own life, and knowing that when the time comes those same loved ones will share in your own joy as well.

and that's that.

have a wonderful end of the week loves!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Confessions of a shopaholic...

Jeez, I haven't posted in a bit...and last time i did it was a woe is me post.

i hope you've been busy living my dear readers! i've missed you :)
welllll i've been semi busy (except not really)
i quit my job, got a new job and then quit that one too.
it was a big joke...(or maybe i am?)
anyway, i went home for  a few days for yet another wedding and to squeeze in as much family time as i could before i started my new, new job. because ofcourse i got another one.
...just chasing the dream people, chasing the dream.
anywho, in the meantime i'm currently cleaning out my closet and listing things on ebay and on my very own facebook page i made for this specific reason. because really even i have finally realized that the amount of money ive spent on the things in my closet is probably equivalent to a years worth of my rent.
soo ala becky bloomwood, miss "confessions of a shopaholic" herself : i am cleaning out, and parting with some of my treasures in the hopes that someone else out there in the big wide world will want my things and contribute to my non existent savings account.
interested? check out my page on facebook :
search "sarah's closet"
happy living lovelies!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

and that's how i went from doing a whole lot of nothing to suddenly having choices

today i accepted a job as a preschool teacher.
and then i went to my restaurant job thinking, maybe i don't mind keeping this job for the extra money.
and then while at work and basically hating my life i thought to myself:
"self, you'll be working monday - friday at the preschool, going to grad school monday- wednesday nights, and then you'll work at the resturant thursday and friday nights, AND work doubles on saturday and sunday? and still volunteering with the sorority.....and when do you plan on studying, doing your homework and ohh i don't know...having a life?"
combined with some other things that happened during my shift, i ended up deciding to give notice when i went in tomorrow.
which then resulted in me coming home and calling my dad who told me it was okay to quit because:
" you're funny, you'll find something else to do"
and that's why I think my dad is the best dad in the whole wide world.
the end.
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Thursday, August 23, 2012

guess what?!

guess what.
i got accepted into grad school today.
YAY!!!1 I'm so excited. SO SO excited!! I immediately registered for classes and hopefully will get my school supplies this weekend and be ready to go!
did i mention how excited i am?!
i love school. and school supplies. and just having a semi structured existense, but only sometimes.
and i am SO happy with my choice of program: school counseling.
it's like everythings finally working out.
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Monday, August 13, 2012

my very first swap!! who wants in?

ok so this technically isn't my first swap since i've particiapted in nail polish, scarves, ornament, and other random swaps but it is my first time hosting one soooo without further ado:

i know, i know, you're saying to yourself "a magnet swap?, really?" but yes.
Since living alone I have discovered that magnets are underappreciated and highly necessary. especially if you're me and everyone you know is sending wedding, shower, baby, engagement announcements & invites and you have one lonely heavy duty magnet struggling to keep things on your fridge.
PLUS have you ever really thought about what you display on your fridge says to guests about you? it's like a quick look into your life : maybe you have pictures, invitations, quotes, contact info, random things that say to a guest passing through -- this is my life in a nutshell.

Last week I had mentioned my desire for some magnets and today I came home to a surprise from two blogger friends! so why not spread the love?

Here are the guidelines:

- Maximum spending amount: $10 (that includes sending it out) so maybe you pick a really great big magnet or two smaller awesome ones, whatever you'd like!

- If possible make it personal. Check out your partners blog and get to know each other. Share something that represents you, or something that interests them, whatever :)  

- Please mail your swap item out by Saturday 8/25

- Make it lovely! Who doesn't love getting packages in the mail?! So please make it worthwhile for your partner. I've been pretty lucky in my past swaps so let's keep it going!

Ok, that's it i think...anyone still interested?
 Leave your name, blog address & email in a comment if you are!

I'm keeping this sign up open until this friday 8/17 and will then let you know who your partner is so you can get going :)

I'm already excited!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


p.s. tell your friends, pass it on!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

what a beautiful life.

so today one of my oldest childhood friends asked me to call her.
"call you?" i said, "who calls people anymore?"
" i need to tell you a funny story" she said
"does it end with you being engaged? because you'd be the third one this week" (clearly i think i am a funny girl...){cricket cricket while i waited patiently for a reply about some random person we knew ten years ago who did something awkward, because this is actually how conversations with us go}
"perhaps" was her bbm back
 and this is how i knew she was about to tell me she was engaged. which she now is. so i called anyway to hear it out loud. (Congrats again boogie!!)

a few days ago my friend kayti sent me a picture of an engagement ring. with the caption "yep. that happened!"  and this is how i found out she was engaged.

a few months ago, my friend Laura, who ive known since kindergarten, called me for my birthday and asked me to call her back because she had some news to tell me. and when i didnt call her back because it was my birthday and i hadn't even realized she left me a voicemail, she texted me to tell me she was engaged.

again, notice a pattern here?

this has been happening at a steady pace of at least two of my friends every other week for the last two years.

here is the moral of my story:
and no, for once it's not that
i am alone and looking for love.

it's this:
yes, bad things happen. people get hurt, people hurt others, peoples hearts get broken, people get discouraged, people get lost and confused and go through periods where things are hard and seem like maybe they won't ever get better. i know, because i've been there right along with the rest of you.

but things always get better. and not only do they get better, they sometimes turn into something better than you ever expected. and not only that, but these things show you that you are actually never alone. and that's where i am right now. I am not alone, even though relationship wise i suppose i am.
because I have friends who have wonderful, amazing things happening for them right this moment, and during these happy times, they have thought to share their happiest news with me.

so yes, i could be sad and miserable and say woe is me...
(and to be honest, every so often, i do, for a moment feel that way)
BUT THEN I am overcome with happiness for my friends. my beautiful, wonderful friends who I may be separated from in years or distance, from the last times since we spoke or saw each other, but really are not separated in memories or at heart. because we have those things to connect us, despite the changes we all go through-- the moves, the jobs, the life things that sometimes get in the way, maybe some that we haven't spoken in months or years.

so to my beautiful, wonderful, at some point in my life friends, friends i am so, very happy for you all

(many of you don't even read my blog, but still)

sara, laura, kayti, lazlo, tricia, dan and about 50 other people i know -- congratulations on your very recent engagements, and on finding that one person who you want to spend the rest of your mornings waking up with. happy wedding planning to you all

katie, emily, sarah & teresa -- congratulations on your wedding days that are just around the corner, lifetimes and lifetimes worth of love and happiness to every one of you

joe & jacki -- happy almost 2 year anniversary, and the growth of your little family with surraya and kylie

candice -- congrats on all the changes youve made these last few months, and for taking risks on what your future holds for you

missy --congrats on being brave enough to move to a place where you didnt know anyone and doing it anyway

julie -- congratulations on finding the job you've been working so hard for, and for loving it so much already

danielle- congrats on your new home & for deciding to take a chance on a change of careers

steph a -- i forgot to say congratulations on your teaching position, you will be a wonderful teacher!

kait, danielle & amy-- congrats on your very recent weddings, a lifetime of love and happiness to you all.

angela -- congrats on your new position, and for all your hard work paying off

shelley -- congrats on your amazing weight loss and all you've accomplished

and last but most certainly not least,
congratulations to my sister tiana-- for being brave and strong and as always a role model not only to me but to your own kids. for always lending an ear and a hug, and for believing that even if today seems a little rough, tomorrow is always bound to be a little better.

to these friends and to so many others, who i may not be able to think of right now-- it doesn't matter to me if we haven't spoke in months, or even haven't seen each other in years. whether we were once close and are now just people from each other memories. i am so very happy for you all, for every amazing wonderful thing happening for you, and even if i don't say it enough or even at all, i am thankful for you. and grateful that you have shared your lives with me at some point or another.

and sara? you know i really meant it today when i said i was so happy for you. even if i prefaced it with "Please hold while i put my 'i'll be single forever but i'm happy for you anyway' voice on". because you're my boogie, and you know what i really mean, after our almost 15 years of friendship.

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams




Friday, August 10, 2012

oh hello friday!


dear friday: i had no idea you were here already. seriously, not.a.clue. you're a sneaky one huh? dear whitney: thanks for sharing the birthday spirit with the blog world, since i won my first official bloggy giveaway! i'm so excited :)
dear little hair of mine: i chopped you off!! but on a good day i sort of love it..if only the weather would start cooperating. dear adam levine: i posted this picture on facebook with this caption: { "adam levine should really keep his clothes on" - said no one, ever. }and it got rave reviews. you're hot. don't ever wear clothes, ever.

dear kindle: you plus having library cards for two states has seriously renewed my love of reading. so convenient to carry around and never be without a book! love you the most! dear apartment of mine: you are officially all mine. im surrounded by stuff that's totally me and i love it. you'er coming together slowly but surely, but finding things for you is like treasure hunting for me and it makes me feel safe and happy. dear glasses: it's time for a new pair of four eyes. time to start looking! dear mooomy & dad: whenever you come to visit me, i never want you to leave. i felt like a lost puppy when you left to go home again and i wanted to jump in the car and go with you. you make me reconsider moving home. big sigh. dear grad school interview: i really really really reallllllllly hope you go well so i can go to school in a few weeks. i am desperate to be back in a classroom, as the teacher OR the student. dear sleep: i can't get enough of you. i've spent the better part of the last few days asleep and it's still not enough. yawn. dear monograms: i'm a little bit loving you lately. and i've never ever even liked monograms. good thing mine doesn't seem to be changing any time soon (how's that for looking at the silver lining?) plus reese witherspoon is all about them too:

Dear honeybooboo: holy crap. i'm watching it right now and have officially been converted. "it smells like hair spray and desperation in here!" ohhhhhh man, count me in. speaking of shows i can't stop watching: dear tlc: i just saw the premiere of abby & brittany. now, if you know me, you know that when i saw the special "abby & brittany turn 16" like... five years ago, i couldn't get enough. i'm fascinated. she's a two headed girl. a girl with two heads, who think and have feelings and want to do separate things but only have one body. i really am fascinated. and i want to watch every minute of their life. is that awful?
dear random friends of mine: lately so many of you keep popping back into my life, despite months and even years of not seeing each other, or speaking to each other. i am thankful for that. life gets busy, time flies by, so really for you to not hold it against me for the time lapse, i equally don't hold it against you. and for your friendships, i am thankful .

have a wonderful friday lovebugs!
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

oh, hello!

ok here's a whole bunch of random:

sometimes, i wish i was a boy just so i could have a mohawk. so this actually means that sometimes i wish i was my brother. awkward.

have any of you bought one of those imitation j crew bubble necklaces off of ebay? i want one and want to pick a seller someone's already purchased from.

i have a LOT of friends getting engaged, married and having babies. by default this also means that i have a LOT on invitations to showers & weddings. i don't have the free time or the money for all this. ofcourse i wish i did because missing out on life events makes me sad. so currently, i feel a little sad sending back declined rsvps :(

i think i want to do this to one of my walls:

or this :

i'm 27. and yet, everytime i see my parents for a few days and then they have to leave, or i do, i feel a deep sadness and revert right back to the little kid who used to hate getting dropped off at camp and really wanted to stay with my parents in the car and go wherever they were going
that's me, hiiiii

i don't want to work...and yet i need the money. too bad i wish i was doing something i loved instead of something that gets me by.

....which brings me to a very important phone call, about a very special possibility coming up in a few weeks...and here's hoping i make a fantastic impression BECAUSEEEEEEEE then, something wonderful will be happening in my life :)

here's hoping!

and here's something to ponder:

anything random going on with you guys?



Saturday, August 4, 2012

ummmm, because this is totally normal.

I haven't blogged in like two weeks. seriously, who am i?!

someone who is attached to their kindle that's who.

whenever i'm not at my nannying job or at my resturant job i'm reading my little heart out non stop. it's awesome and fantastic and has reminded me just how much i love a good book.
on another note, i've been getting a whole lot of  engagement, wedding, baby shower invites and announcements lately and my poor fridge can't hold them because i have about four real magnets and then a handful of alphabet magnets that can't hold up a receipt let alone an actual piece of paper.

so anyway, would anyone like to send me a magnet? from whevever you are, or one you think is funny or cute or whatever. consider it an act of kindness to send a small gift to a complete stranger for no reason other than to let me know you thought of me for .2 seconds of your day. i CAN tell you that i would greatly appreciate it. let me know and i'll give you my address!!!

im serious. is this selfish of me to ask you oh bloggy friends of mine? maybe, but ill pay it forward with my own act of kindness to someone else. sooooo will you send me a magnet please?!!!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams



Friday, July 20, 2012

friday letters


dear morgan (my hairdresser for the day since my regular one was booked) : first, while i was in the shampoo chair you washed out my color and said " oh that's not good" and then told me i ended up with a bizarre color in my hair "but not in a bad way". you didn't wash the dye out of my hair all the way and told me it was my hairline, when i asked you for a towel to scrub it off myself. then you said you couldnt blowout my hair because it was too coarse and kinky. and then you asked me if i could just straighten my own bangs at home. and let's not even talk about how inappropriae you were talking about your coworkers and the other clients around us. i've been getting my hair done at salons for over 15 years and i'm pretty sure this was my worst experience ever. ever. ever. good thing i've got a correction appt that your manager scheduled for me after she saw how you were sending me home.
unless im THE COUNT, im pretty sure that's not my hairline.
dear olive garden: i always think youre a good idea. until my stomache starts to hurt. and then i remember why i said i would never return to you again. until the next time. dear fridge: youre full of random odds and ends, none of which equal anything i can eat. i should probably go to the market for some fruits and veggies. dear new family im nannying for: please turn out to be a good idea. i'm already dreading the hours combined with my restuarant shifts. dear grad school: i would really like to start in september. please let me know if i can. dear hair: sorrysorrysorry. dear jobs of mine: youre really getting in the way of the trips i want to take. texas, italy, greece, virginiabeach, bali, the whole wide world? dear four weddings: ive watched entirely too many episodes of you today. must change the channel. dear ulta: your makeup for $1 was a serious issue for me. did i need six eyeshadows in different shades of grey? probablynot. dear lipstick:i think i'm going to start wearing you to work. waiting tables is no excuse to not spruce up right? right. dear ashley: thanks for hosting this week after week. i love reading everyone's letters. it's good to know im not the only one who writes letters to inanimate objects.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

" if you want to kiss me, the answer is yes, and you get this tshirt"

guys. let me start by saying: to each his own. personal choices and all that stuff.

BUT , that being said, if you haven't ever watched the virgin diaries on tlc, please please do.

holy crap. it's like tlc found the craziest virgins ever and put them on a show. and better yet they
 found enough people to have different episodes for a whole season.
it's like virgin status in hyperdrive. and it's nuts.

for example tonights episode featured skippy the 34 yr old virgin who lives in his moms basement.
he takes his mom to the clubs with him, along with a backpack with a hair dryer in it so he can dry himself off periodically when he gets too sweaty. he also collects his own belly button lint (for the last 15 years) and uses tshirts to bribe girls into kissing him. he makes said tshirts as one of his other hobbies. my favorite one of his is "34, mormon, virgin: proof dinosaurs exist."

please watch it so you can understand the full effect and don't think im just a judgemental b.

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012



... believe that this is not where i am meant to be

... know that people can be hurtful without really being aware that they're doing it

...feel that i am easily forgotten by everyone i know except my parents

...think that i should have gotten checked out at the hospital after my accident even though i didn't have insurance, because it turns out i have an injury that didn't heal properly

...want to have people i can count on

... am concerned for the future of the world: smoking blunts and speaking in slang is really up there on your list of priorities? there's a difference between enjoying your youth and making yourself look unintelligent. The word is "though" not doe. Calling everyone you see a bitch and a hoe? classy. Having reckless sex and then being worried you caught something? super.

...know that people grow apart, for many reasons, and sometimes you can't explain it

... think that you can suffer on your own for a long time and people don't even see it

... feel that sometimes I'm in a room full of people i know and still feel completely alone

... want to take back the last few years of my life and do things differently

... confess that having no one waiting for me to come home hurt much more than i wanted to admit to myself

... wish i felt complete
... hope that i figure out what i'm doing with my life

... hate that i feel like this

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


Friday, July 6, 2012

friday, friday

dear dphie convention in miami: this time next week i'll be partaking in four days chock full of sorority loving. dear everyone at work: thanks for thinking i'm 20, and having no idea that i am in fact 27. dear tuesday: get here soon, you're the start to my mini vacation and i'm so very excited. dear dramamine: i hope you do the trick and help me stay calm on my flight to florida, which is not going to be 2hrs long. dear hair: grow. dear charlize theron: you were a whole lot of crazy in snow white. dear pink lipstick: i shall be rocking you when i go see magic mike or the katy perry movie tomorrow night. i feel either occasion is appropriate. dear awesome earrings at forever 21: be mine. dear closet: can you sort yourself out? on that note, dear suitcase: could you pack yourself as well? dear feet: could you try to not ache anymore whenever we try to wear cute shoes? like these or these that would be great. dear table that tipped me more than 20% tonight: i don't know if you did it on accident or on purpose, BUT i appreciated it anyway. dear unnamed grad school: please accept me into your program. i really, really, really would love to be back in school. seriously. dear acne: what is going on?! are we fifteen again?! get off my face. dear fall: ( a last minute addition after reading ashley's letters and immediately looking at my favorite tall boot website to see if they were up yet) i'm strangely really excited for your return. tall boots, knee high socks, chunky wrap sweaters, scaves, hats, pumpkins, apple cider, leaves turning, not to mention the much better, less humid hair days...should i go on?

happy weekend lovebugs!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams



Sunday, July 1, 2012

she's too young for you bro.

today, someone told a guy who was talking to me that i was "too young for you bro"

the guy said "there is no age for love!"

( the part about the guy talking to me, or his response is actually irrelevant to this story)

a little while later i asked the other guy .... "how old do you think i am?"

he looked at me and said: "twenty"

and this is yet another story about how i will get carded until forever.

the end.

Friday, June 29, 2012

friday's letters

dear mary kate olsen: you look like youre the same age as your boyfriends daughter. as in 11 years young. slightly creepy. (and a little trashy with the greasy hair and cig, no?)
exhibit a

dear blythe at toni & guy: i may be coming to see you in the morning. my hair's a mess. dear dad: were you serious when you said i should get a puppy? because i want one since riley lives with you. let's adopt rufus or chesterdear joe my landlord: i hope it's ok with you if i get a pet since i discovered yesterday that the girl across the hall from me, and the people on the second and third floor all actually have dogs. i'm thinking you just were kidding when you said no pets. dear girl who made me upset at work today: i know you were full of it when you complained about me to my manager and i hope you get a big pimple in the middle of your forehead on the morning you have to do something really important. because i know i didn't do what you said i did and therefore you were just fishing for a free giftcard. bite me. dear life: slow down. dear guy at work who talks about everyone and then asks me if i like them: um, first of all im new, so yes, i like everyone. second-- even if i didn't like someone, i definitely wouldn't be telling you. dear teen mom: why have i started watching you again? and why can't i look away. it's like watching a train wreck happening and not being able to look away. dear straightener: curlyhairdontcare. be like a bear and go hibernate..for the summer. hairissueslikewoah.

happy friday kiddies!

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams


it's ok & thankful thursday

Its Ok Thursdays

i should probably start with what i'm thankful for since i'm in a bad mood after getting home from work and should probably start off on a semi happy note.

i'm thankful for...

... my job. because a few weeks ago I was worried about how I was going to make my rent and today I was actually able to tell my dad I didn't need to borrow any money from them parents, because I could ask them to help me no matter what

... the free trip to miami i'm going on in two weeks to attend my sororitys convention. i am SO excited!!!

... sunscreen, because my skin cannot handle another sunburn

... my best friend candice. she never tells me im being rediculous, she laughs at my jokes, and she never hold is against me even if weeks go by and we haven't spoken.

and it's ok...

... that i got a complaint tonight and it really made me feel sad, and embarassed.

... that i didn't paint my nails and didn't realize it until i was running plates to a table

...that i don't want to waste money on groceries since i bring home food from work every day now

... that i really forget how old i am until someone asks me. and then i just feel confused about it

... that my hair is making me crazy. seriously crazy. today i put it in a messy bun and wore a neon purple headband because i couldn't deal with it. it's just growing out and not down. redic.

... that i sort of wish i watched the old dallas so maybe this new one would make more sense to me. or maybe i need to be from texas? idk.

... that i've been cracking up reading this tumblr account. legit, between this one and suri's burn book i could be entertained for hours.
... that i really think that there are more important things in life than talking about how drunk or high you got yesterday, last week or this morning.
... that i miss home. but i don't ever want to move back.

... that the highlight of my shift tonight was the premeal tastings of our new margaritas. too bad i couldn't have a whole one. or five.

... that i can simualtaneously be really happy for my friends who are in the process of planning their weddings, have just gotten married, are having babies, moving in together, or are recently engaged, but also want to kick the next person who tells me it'll happen when im not expecting it. it's been two years since my last serious relationship. i've been "not expecting it" for quite some time now.

... that i'd rather have a solid book in my hands than an e reader. i've used mine approximately 8 times. maybe.

... to have a glass of wine (or two)  after work. i'm such a rebel.
with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams




Friday, June 22, 2012

friday's letters.


fridays letters

dear giant fish at the beach today: you freaked me out. like i thought you were a seamonster because you were as long as my arm, and that i was hallucinating. good thing missy saw you afterwards as did the 10 people standing near us. dear everyone at the beach today: why did you feel the need to get so close to me when there's a whole wide beach around us. me no likey. especailly when we're in the water and you're spitting and kicking sand. it's like taking a bath with 100 people you don't know. you wouldn't actually do that in real life, so why do so many of us love to go to the beach? mind boggling i tell you. dear watchmen: it's 11 minutes into the movie and i already don't get it. why are you blue? literally. dear sunshine: you made me feel warm and sleepy at the very same time today. weird how that always happens. dear coworkers of mine: bear with me. i'm new. to you it's easy to punch in orders with abbreviations that are super confusing and sometimes don't make sense and carry trays of things that sizzle and pop at eye level...for me, not so much. but i'm trying. i also would love to know your secret way of reaching over the drink station with getting soaking wet. oh right, it's because none of you are 5'1. that river of liquid you all reach right over? it's at level with my chest and belly. dear self: let's be the most awesome server ever, ever, ever. make that money kid, lets go. dear abs: i wish i had some. how about i start doing sit ups daily and you wiggle out from under the layer of winter warmth i hide you behind hmm?

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams,