i cannot believe the first day of august is about to come to an end! today was the first time in awhile that ive felt like i didnt screw up the entire day. i didnt stress out about whos mad at me, what im going to do once this summer job is over, how long it will be until someone wonderful comes into my life or any of the other thoughts that have been keeping me up every night and making me feel anxious and lost.
i had a really great weekend visiting my best friend and just enjoying being with someone who knows me, lets me ramble, and makes me feel like im not so crazy- that maybe my ideas and dreams arent so far out of reach. we talked, shopped (of the window variety), got dolled up and went out for "just a drink' which really turned into us stumbling into the best pub ive ever stepped foot into.
i danced like i havent danced in months, really, in almost a year. i felt pretty and comfortable in my own skin. my hair was wild and huge, and i didnt care. i was a sweaty mess, and i just wiped myself off and didnt care. i ditched my heels for some sandals, which for some people isnt so huge but for 5'1 me, its a big deal :) i didnt care if anyone wanted to dance with me or buy me a drink or think i was pretty. i was happy , and carefree, and having a grand old time just dancing with my friend. and i didnt care how silly i looked. maybe it was because i didnt know anyone within 100 miles of the place...but maybe, just maybe, im finally healing.
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