“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life..." -Eat, Pray, Love
I used to have the very strong belief that out there in the big wide world was my one true love, my other half, my soul mate. I read a lot of books with main characters who made a huge life change, up and moved across the world, walked into a random bar, bumped into a stranger on the street and BOOM!-- they literally stumbled upon their one true love. I wondered about it all the time, where in the world was my one? what were they doing at that very moment, what was happening in their life, what choice were they contemplating at that moment that might be the very choice that would lead us to cross paths?
As I got older I began to realize that not everyone has just one soul mate. Not only that but their "soul mate" may not just be their other half, their lover, their greatest love...but you could find your soul mate in a friend- a kindred spirit you didn't know you were looking for until you met them and suddenly a hole you didn't know was waiting to be filled in your soul was suddenly filled up. The quote at the beginning of this post is from Elizabeth Gilberts book, Eat Pray, Love, and I happen to agree with it more than I can put into words. I have been lucky enough to have met people in my life that I have felt that connection with, have experienced a relationship of some kind that bound us to each other no matter what happened afterwards. Don't take that the wrong way-- I so totally don't mean that sexually. I have met people who understood me, related to me, were from a completely different life than me, have had nothing in common, or a million things in common with me, have known me as well or sometimes even better than I've known myself, just have made an impression on my life in some way and changed me in some way for better or worse.
Not all of those people have stuck around with me all these years, but that's the point of the quote isn't it? Sometimes people are not meant to stay in your life forever. Sometimes they play their part and then move on, leaving you to keep the lesson you learned from that person and take it on with you into your future. Just because someone leaves your life does not necessarily mean it was under bad circumstances although sometimes it does- a break up, a fight- sometimes you just lose touch, miles seem even further away, lives change and things happen.
It is through these experiences with your soul mates that you discover who you are, what you're capable of doing, what you believe in, what you'll stand for and what you'll stand against. These soul mates? They help you find your voice. Some will become the person you choose to spend your life with, others are the friends who carried you when you were too weak to stand on your own, some will be the ones you can go years without speaking to and still when you need them, it's as if no time has gone by, others you may have only known for a brief moment and others still, may have moved on from you, leaving behind their mark on the timeline of your life.
Don't be afraid to find your soul mates out there in this big wide world. You never know, they may be out there looking for you too.
Be brave loves,