Thursday, October 13, 2011

when words fail, music speaks

Yesterday a song came on the radio as I was driving to work, and as always I reached for the button to change the station. Not because I hate the song, but actually because I love it, loved it, a few months ago- actually almost a year ago, when it seemed to be the perfect song for me. Everything it said was how I was feeling, it was practically as if I had written it myself, just catchier and with phrases I would never actually say outloud. And I loved it.

That's the thing about music though, you can always always always find a song that captures exactly how you feel at any given moment. For me, and I know for most of you, that song becomes a part of how you end up looking back at that moment in your life and maybe like it does for me, ends up being associated with a memory of someone.

Abracadabra: Sugar Ray- It comes on and I can still do the opening moves form Senior Year Battle of the Classes. For someone like me, who was so painfully shy as a child that my parents forced me to take drama classes to help me get over it, participating in battle {voluntarily} was a huge deal. I loved every second of it. I was part of a team, and not only that but it was something that made a whole bunch of people who were aquaintances after spending years in the same classrooms together, walking the same hallways together, actually spend time together and get to know each other. 

Breakfast at Tiffanys: Deep Blue Something- Summer after freshman year, hanging out in my friend S's basement with a bunch of girls who would become my core group throughout my high school years. Height of Napster fame and use. We must've listened to this song a billion times, among so many others, but this one always reminds me of that summer, being innocent and hanging out with my friends getting ready to get on our bikes and ride across town to someone elses house for the afternoon.

Gold Digger: Kanye West & Jamie Foxx- Junior year of college, with my sorority sisters, at Club Prov, celebrating Miss KD's birthday (which also happens to be today ironically, Happy Birthday lady, if youre reading this!) It might be one the greatest memories I have from college. I remember getting out of work and going to meet everyone at dinner, wearing the simplest outfit I could throw together and feeling grimey because I didn't have time to shower and the smell of subway sandwiches was all I could smell. I remember meeting them for dinner, and being the only people in the restaurant, probably 20 of us all at one long table, laughing and feeling like grownups ordering all sorts of martinis and not getting carded. I remember all heading to Prov, knowing my on again off again guy would be there with all his fraternity brothers, and not really worrying about it. I remember dancing like maniacs in a huge group with my sisters and Big B making a fool out of herself and making us all laugh. I remember thinking to myself "these are the moments that matter".

Scar Tissue: Red Hot Chili Peppers- My first real boyfriend playing it on the drums and promising to teach me to play. Hanging out in his garage, one sunny day watching someone do something they loved and knowing he was going to matter to me.

Tiny Dancer: Elton John - Driving around in my best friends boyfriends tiny car, in the backseat with my friends on our way to Big Man on Campus.The boys singing their hearts out to tiny dancer, one of them being my not yet realized crush, and me holding on to the head rest infront of me since I was sitting on someones lap (oh to be young enough to think I was invincible). Deciding to ditch the whole thing and meet up with all their brothers for breakfast instead, a fantastic Sunday.

Is this love: Bob Marley - Slow dancing in my boyfriends bedroom, one weekend when I was visiting and we had spent hours talking our relationship issues to death. Deciding it would be our wedding song. Moving around and around in circles, dancing in our pajamas, thinking that everything would be okay, telling each other that everything would be okay.

Collide: Howie Day- On the way to the drive in, during a summer night in college with my best friends. the windows were down and we started out singing it quietly to ourselves and ended up belting it out over the noise from the open windows.

Since you've been gone: Kelly Clarkson- Nothing like a guys suck song to help a bunch of girls bond together. Junior year again, at S & K's house getting ready to go out with my sisters, 20 of us crowded into their apartment and belting out this song when it came on the playlist. It became our theme song. Kareoke nights, at the clubs, 24/7.

this pic is actually from that night! just found it :)

Rooftops: Lost Prophets- Senior year, living in my apartment with my boyfriend. Nights when we'd be making dinner listening to music and it would come on. He'd crank it up and we'd sing it as loud as we could, across the apartment, feeling every word of the song. Knowing we were really happy being there, just making dinner, the two of us.

Me & Julio Down by the Schoolyard: Paul Simon- Back home again, dancing with my brother in the kitchen, jamming out to the oldies station, while our parents watch us and laugh at us, mostly every time it comes on.

my baby bro and i, we knew how to have a good time

My humps: Black Eyed Peas- I know, sooo cheesy, but utterly fantastic. Reminds me of my best college friends. Dancing like we thought we were so hot, loving this song. Being silly, all dancing together at my one year crossover party.

Rockstar: Nickleback- working at panera in seekonk. after closing we used to bring the radio out to the line and rock out. it was the best job, not because of the work, but because of the people I was glad to be with.

Don't Stop Believing: Journey- College. Every time it came on, no matter who I was with or where I was. Everyone loved this song, everyone sang it simultaneously, and with feeling.

Goodness, I could go on forever really, the number of songs that remind me of something or someone are endless. Sometimes when the song comes on I reach to change it, because sometimes the memories are too hard to deal with, they flood back and the feelings I remember having in them could ruin the rest of my day. At other times, I turn it up and sing along with it like I'm auditioning for American Idol. Music is a tricky thing. It's like a song comes on and suddenly you're like yes! that's exactly how I feel!  The song sticks with you long after the memories have been made. It's why I love it.

oh and that song I heard yesterday that I went to change? What's my name by rihanna & drake. lame I know, but almost a year ago when it came out, it was perfect for what was going on. and it reminds me of someone who even though they turned out to not be what I expected, they ended up being exactly what I needed right then, and that feeling was amazing.

be brave loves,

1 comment:

  1. interesting concept/post. makes me want to do this.. perhaps tonight since im feeling sick.

    without music.. i dont know how id deal with everyday life..


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