Thursday, December 29, 2011

i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly



I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

It's moving day, it's moving day!!! After a slight change of plans in which I was supposed to move yesterday, I'm moving today!

i'm a whole mix of emotions, but that's to be expected. i'm worried, excited, sad, happy, unsure, intrigued....tons of things.  i don't know what will happen from here on out, but it's a chance im taking. and i wouldn't be able to take it if it wasnt for the three people who know me best and who i will miss the most...so here is my open letter to them:

Dear Moommy,

I love you. I know you're worried that I'm going to be sitting alone eating dinner. I know you're afraid about me getting sick and being too far away from you. I know you seem to think i am moving to antartica and will not survive the cold weather (that is not so unlike the one i am leaving). I know you are worried about me not using all my potential, that I don't believe in myself enough, that I don't give myself enough credit and don't want me working waiting on tables just to get by. I promise I will be ok. I promise I'll call you and I won't get annoyed when you send me bbm messages filled with all sorts of smiley faces. I actually get a kick out of it when you do. They make me giggle, no matter what I'm doing. I know you wish I could live with you forever, but we both know I had to go sooner or later. You've given me so much, it's about time I go and go do something to deserve it all. I will miss you trying to high five me or give me a fist pump when you crack yourself up at dinner, I will miss you taking care of me when im sick, and even will miss you coming into my room and offering to help me clean up the chaos i like to live in, or wanting to shop around in my stuff to see what you can use. I know you're worried Moommy, but you don't have to be (but I also know telling you you don't have to be is silly, because you wouldn't be you if you didn't worry about me) You taught me how to be a take charge kind of lady moommy, how to not let being a little lady let people take advantage of me, how to work hard, and make a difference in the world. because that's what you do moomy. and I want to be just like you when i grow up, because youre my hero. You work hard for us, and it's time for me to do the same. I know you're proud of me moomy, but it's time i start being proud of myself too. don't worry moomy, i'm just a short drive away, and you know I can't stay away from home for too long. i miss you already.

love,
sarita


Dear Daddy,

I love you. I know you're worried too, even though you haven't said it. I think it's because you know i'll be brave, and probably because you know this is a lesson i'll have to learn on my own. Even though i'll never really be on my own will i?  because I can always count on you to help me when i need it. You listen when i need to talk and you don't judge me. you tell me your secrets because you know i'll keep them. i'll miss sitting quietly at the table with you reading the paper, and getting in each others way in the kitchen. ill have to buy the paper and do the crosswords on my own, but ill probably end up calling you for the clues that stump me since you always seem to know the answer, kind of like you do for every other question i ever have. I'm gonna get it together daddy, im going to figure out a budget and save my money. it's about time for it. i count on you for everything, but i have to learn to do it on my own. it's way past time for it, and i'm lucky you've let me have this long to figure it out. when you were my age you lived a whole lifetime of things i can't even imagine having to do, and i'm lucky for all the things you've given me. one of my most favorite days with you was when we flew to miami to tour that awful campus, ditched in the middle of the tour to go eat, and then spent the rest of the day at the beach swimming in our clothes because we didnt pack..well anything especially not bathing suits, and then we flew back home slightly soggy. when i couldn't sleep and moved to the living room last night because i didnt feel well, i cried all night after you tucked me in. i may be a grown up, but im still really just a little girl who loves her daddy. i promise i'll still talk to you twenty times a day, i'll never be too busy for that. i miss you already. you're my hero too.

love,
your little palomita

Dear Binkaroo,

i love you. I wish we could live together forever, but you already shot down my plan to live next door to each other and build an underground tunnel to connect our houses. you can come visit me whenever you want, even though you think youre only going to see me on holidays. you're my best friend, what will i do without you around every single second? who will watch tv with me and ask me a hundred questions about the shows i watch and then make fun of them the whole time? i'm sorry i'm leaving you to handle dinner time questions on your own, but be patient with mom and dad, they love you so much-- they just want to spend time with you and stay a part of your life, even if they do make you crazy when they're asking a hundred questions. keep working hard in school, but don't stress yourself out so much over it, youre the smarty pants and you know you'll do well no matter what. be careful in the choices you make, and be good and kind like the binkaroo i love. keep your good friends close and always remember how valuable it is to have them when things get tough. don't forget you have me too. leaving you is probably the hardest for me, because I worry you'll forget about me, and won't talk to me so much when i'm not close by. we can still talk every single day and send lots of funny madeup bbmfaces to each other. you can let moomy and daddy read my blog now, they'd probably like it if you showed them how to see it. you're the first friend i ever had and my hero. and i miss you already.

love,
sissy



you three are my most favorite people in the world, and i wish we could stay together forever. i know things will be different now, but we're still a family and im grateful for you,
 and love you every single day.
ok, sadfaces, sadfaces, i made myself cry writing this one, so off i go.

wish me luck lovebugs, i'm headed off on my adventure. my posts may be here and there until i get my internet situation figured out...but stay tuned to see how my adventure turns out :)

with a heart full of hope & a mind full of dreams

Sarah


5 comments:

  1. Great post! Yay for moving. Such a great feeling to be on your own.

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  2. Yes, great post! Moving is so hard when it's the first time away from home, but it's such a great experience at the same time. Good luck! :)

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  3. What a sweet, sweet post! Where are you moving to? Good luck in all of your adventures!!

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  4. This was lovely :) hope you settle in nicely x

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